Tools of the Trade: Car Air Freshener

If you smell good, you sell good. I personally lodge a couple of new-car smells into the A/C vents of whatever executive rental I’m driving that week. I keep about a hundred of them — unpackaged and ready to go — right in the briefcase.

The path less travelled is overrated. (I hate oxtail.)

The tail of cattle should not be recognized as acceptable cuisine by any restaurant. Thank goodness my wireless signal is still decent in my bathroom.

The path less travelled.

Today I was faced with a difficult decision, and I have to say I’m proud of the adventurous direction I chose. Was the outcome rewarding? Honestly, no. But it was the experience that made it worthwhile. (Side note: Never eat oxtail. It does not digest well.)

Lightning doesn’t always strike twice.

I thought it might happen again, but…no dice. Got stuck back in Coach for the flight home. No MJ. No First Class. Some guy talked my ear off about aluminum the whole time. Like I wanna hear some dude talk about his job for 18 hours.

Re-live the experience (that I had).

Two hottest properties on the net right now:



1. Airline-grade pillow graced by the indentation of Michael Jordan’s head (signed by me). You can get your hands on it here.




2. Top-of-the-line coffee mug ordained with the photo of MJ and myself in the midst of the friendship bond. Available at CafePress.com. Enjoy. (P.S. You’re welcome.)

Power Sales Triangle Tee!

Consulting with MJ (Michael Jordan, the real one) got me in a fresh headspace with my business endeavors. He was impressed by the triangle, which you’ve had the benefit of learning from previous posts. So I blessed this shirt with it. You can’t let wisdom like that go to waste. Wear it. Learn it. Live it. Get one here: www.cafepress.com/thatssorick

I’m done with Sydney.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to travel. And I appreciate the majesty of foreign lands. But if I’m not at least partially fluent in the language, the experience can just get exhausting after a while.

Carpet Show: Day 5

Why does this show have to be so long? It’s just carpet.

Carpet Show: Day 4

Carpet’s just not doing it for me at this point in my life. I’m starting to mull over some new business ideas. Thinking there could be something to this MJ/Hanes apparel connection. We could make some waves. I can just feel it.

They have weird animals in Australia.

How did they get here? Some of ’em are like mutants.

Carpet Show: Day 3

Snooze.

Carpet Show: Day 2

My bond with Michael Jordan made me forget why I was in Sydney so I missed Day 1. Heard the keynote was lame, anyway. Ready to dive into some carpetstorming sessions. Let’s do this.

Think of your best day. Mine is WAY BETTER.

I didn’t see it comin’… but it came. I sat next to a great man on my flight today. The one and only Michael Jeffrey Jordan. Just relaxing, conversing like kings. Making a connection. He’s a First Class dude and so am I. I’m still on a high. But I’m over the initial excitement because when it comes down to it… he’s just a man, ya know? As am I. Me and His Airness just happened to be cut from the same cloth. Literally. We were both sportin’ our Lay Flat Collar undershirts. (Snapped some pics on the cell. It’d be a shame not to share ‘em.)

Countdown to Sydney Carpet Show

Tomorrow’s the day. Flyin’ out for the “land down unda” for the world’s biggest international carpet show. Only the top seller gets to go to Oz. (Tidbit: Oz is what Europeans call Australia.) No rookies allowed on this trip. Let’s do this. Let’s carpet the globe!



I love Sydney and Sydney loves me.

I’m Boycotting Sushi

Five reasons:

1.) There’s just no reason for it to even exist.
2.) It doesn’t keep.
3.) Sodium
4.) Chopsticks. (Why??)
5.) Found out I’m allergic.

“Carpet Man” by Rick Bulifant

So I got a little song I’m working on…
(I’m thinking prog rock or alt country genre)
Melody’s not worked out yet,
but the lyrics are solid gold.
Goes a little something like this:

Well I’m a carpet man
Lay down my life for you
Yeah I’m a carpet man, baby
Lay my life right down for you

I’m the padding when you fall
I got your back from wall to wall.

Well I’m a carpet man
Lay down my life for you
Yeah I’m a carpet man, baby
Lay my life right down for you

Make your life so soft and sweet
Put your toes all over me


Well I’m a carpet man
Lay down my life for you
Yeah I’m a carpet man, baby
Lay my life right down for you

I’m your plush soft touch’n daddy
Why you walk all over me…

(Repeat chorus)




Self Portrait - Workin on a sweet solo that goes after the second chorus

Minneapolis Hates Carpet

Had a huge sale lined up in Minneapolis last week. Guy wanted three dancehalls carpeted with Mohican Burr. Done and done, right? No. Zipped up to meet him with the Burr already en route—dude backs out. Sale botched. Trip botched. Rick gives Mini-Apple a disappointing 1 out of 5 Golden Swatches.

The Power Sales Square Triangle

REVISED: Look good. Feel good. Sell good.

The Power Sales Square

Little somethin’ I’m working on. Look good. Feel good. Sell good. Congratulate Yourself.

Tools of the Trade: Edible Center Pieces

Nobody wants a boring boardroom. You break the ice, you eat a little sweets that you thought were just fake flowers in a basket. Gets laughs. Sells carpet.

Scottsdale hates cheesecake.

‘Cause you know what? I can’t find a decent slice anywhere in this town. Woulda been a nice top-off to last night’s sale. D-I-S-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-E-D. (sp?)

My gift to you. (contd.)

“To lay down carpet is to lay down foundations of prosperity, comfort, and
decreased foot noise for downstairs neighbors, if applicable.”
-S. Daniel Shantytown, Carpeter (circa 1963)

“I will carpet the globe.”
-Rick Bulifant, Carpeter (circa just now)

My gift to you.

Having been hand-picked by the carpeting and flooring bigwigs to represent the company at the Sydney Carpet Show, I figured it was time to open the knowledge chamber and let a little of what I’ve been stockpiling and fine-tuning all these years spill out a little.
World, I give you my blog.